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The majority of our day we spend needing to be in control and ‘have it together.'Being dominated allows us to safely give up control and ‘submit' to someone else's agenda.-Emmalee Bierly, MFTThere could be many different reasons for this, as this is unique to every individual and dependent on a variety of factors, such as background history and the dynamics of the different relationships peppered throughout your life. could be associating sex with being ‘bad' and associating ‘being bad' with the freedom to express your deepest sexual desires; it could be a form of intimacy (i.e.only my partner knows this side of me, or it's turning me on how vulnerable I am able to safely be around this person, etc.); or it could feel like another form of submission or dominance.-Caitlyn Caracciolo, MFT…Some females may enjoy it because they are able to be present, and it can take away from of the anxiety of feeling insecure about your physical appearance. As essential as being best friends and enjoying each other are, there should be a physical component to your relationship.Even for men it is common to find a woman physically attractive over time. But if you cannot say that the person you are considering marrying has become or is becoming your best friend, you need to figure out why before you decide to marry. As great as the sex may be (and great sex certainly adds to a marriage), even Hugh Hefner spends the vast majority of time doing other things. This sounds trite, but enjoying each other may actually be the single most important characteristic of a happy marriage. Dating for marriage is not an interview for a platonic best friend.If the person you marry does not become your best friend, you will either seek someone who will be or simply drift apart. Someone you can and do tell just about everything to. If that were not the case, the majority of men would never attract a woman. Most men become physically attractive to a woman thanks to other, masculine, qualities that they possess.However, I still wasn’t sure I wanted to marry him. I wanted to talk about every possible situation that could arise in a marriage and find out how he would handle it.
The names on the latter list were rarely on the first-night list.
In my late 20s, I directed a summer institute for men and women ages 19-25.
After the first two summers, I began to play a game with myself.
It's as subjective to the individual who is having it as any other fantasy — as we all have our own unique backgrounds… Some different ways that this fantasy has been viewed are as another version of a ‘submission' fantasy; it also falls along a common theme of common fantasies.
It is so taboo and ‘wrong' that it turns us on thinking about how ‘dangerous' it is.