Turn friendship into dating
This friendship-first approach has fundamentally changed my understanding of dating and relationships.Observe what happened next…A year after meeting Jessica, I needed to travel to a new city for work and I realized that I had no place to stay there.One guy turned out to be borderline homophobic and we had countless ‘debates’ where he’d say something that was definitely not OK and I’d pull him up on it – leading to full blown rows.He also had odd views on women’s roles…like the fact that he believed marital rape didn’t exist.Last year, I met a girl named Jessica on Ok Cupid and we agreed to meet up and go on an adventure date throughout Seattle.We explored new neighborhoods, meandered through parks, and people-watched out of a coffee shop’s balcony.If you break up with someone in your office, you’ll never be able to use the same water machine again.If you break up with someone in your friendship group, you’ll start a civil war between mates.
“The courting period is important and now you can ask more meaningful questions about what she wants for her future, etc.”I definitely agree with this point.
The next week, I hosted a board game night and invited her so she could meet some of my friends.
Over the course of our time together, we talked about plenty of our romantic and sexual preferences, but neither of us pressed for anything physical.
But actually, dating your friends is awesome and in my opinion, far more preferable to seeing strangers. I’ve almost exclusively dated guys that I’ve known and been friends with for a while and up until relatively recently, didn’t really understand how dating randomers even worked (how dating apps result in relationships, even less so).
Nine times out of ten, I sort of knew I’d end up going out (or at least engaging in some sort of sexual activity) with these guys – but initially and fundamentally, we were pals.